Control

I've always been at least mostly fatalistic. I've always felt that nobody was in control, but what happens, happens. But at Falls Creek '09, God changed my life. He showed me that I'm not in control, but He is. He wants what is best for me, and He will give me what is best for me. He won't tempt me beyond my power, He won't try me beyond what I will be able to press through. He loves me like nobody else can, like nobody else will. And that's comforting. He will give me the opportunities to do what needs to be done. If it happens, it will be good for me, and if it's good for me, it will happen. This is so exciting! Because I know now that if the girl I love doesn't love me in return, it's okay. There is someone far better in store for me on the road ahead. And that's okay. So in this, I find peace. In this, I find comfort. And in this, for the first time, I find hope. Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to come and die for me, to save me from my sleep. Thank you for not letting me go through the motions, either. Thank you for making my relationship with you real and personal. Thank you for bringing people like Lexie and Austin and even Tyler into my life. Let your will be done in me, please, I'm begging you. Give me the strength to read my Bible to better understand what You need me to do. And to think that You would use your boundless power to help us, mere humans, Your creations. That You would bother with me, as much as I've screwed up and strayed. Thank you, so much.